The Fear of Correction

Scripture says, "Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed" (Proverbs 27:5). There is a kind of correction that is an expression of love. It is not intended to embarrass someone, establish our superiority, or make ourselves feel better. Its purpose is restoration. Paul wrote, "Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted" (Galatians 6:1). That last phrase should cause every servant leader to pause: "looking to yourself." Even while we are helping someone else, we must remain aware of ourselves. Even while we are confronting another person's weakness, we must remember that we are not beyond temptation.

This is where a healthy fear becomes essential. Before we correct someone, we should have enough reverence for God to stop and ask, "Lord, is my heart clean in this?" Am I doing this because I genuinely love this person, or because they have offended me? Am I seeking their restoration, or am I trying to make them feel the pain they caused me? Am I protecting the truth, or am I protecting my pride? Am I confronting sin, or am I finally getting an opportunity to tell someone what I have wanted to tell them? These questions are not signs of weakness. They are evidence that we understand the weight of spiritual responsibility.

Jesus gave us one of the most sobering warnings about this when He said, "Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you" (Matthew 7:1-2). Jesus was not teaching that we can never exercise discernment or lovingly confront sin. He was exposing the hypocrisy of judging others while remaining blind to ourselves. He continued, "Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" (Matthew 7:3). The servant leader must learn to stand underneath the same light he shines on everyone else.

This is where correction can become extremely dangerous. We may begin with a sincere desire to help someone, but if we are not careful, the flesh can quietly take over. We begin with, "I need to help this person," and somehow end with, "I need to prove this person wrong." We begin with, "I want to restore them," and end with, "I need them to admit that I was right." We begin with a biblical concern and end with a personal battle. The assignment may have been legitimate, but somewhere along the way our flesh grabbed the microphone. This is why servant leaders must never assume that because the thing they are saying is true, their attitude in saying it is automatically righteous.

The manner in which we correct matters just as much as the correction itself. Paul says that we are to be "speaking the truth in love" (Ephesians 4:15). Truth without love can become cruelty, while love without truth can become compromise. Servant leadership requires both. We must be willing to speak what is difficult while maintaining the heart of Christ toward the person receiving it. The objective is not punishment, humiliation, or personal vindication. The objective is restoration. If our correction leaves us feeling superior and leaves the other person feeling destroyed, we need to seriously examine whether we have represented the heart of Jesus.

There must also be accountability surrounding our correction. A healthy servant leader should have people in his life who can ask difficult questions. Before confronting someone, we should be willing to pray, examine the facts, consider our own emotional involvement, and, when appropriate, seek wise counsel. We should be able to ask, "Would I handle this the same way if I were not personally offended?" That question can expose a great deal in our hearts. Authority without accountability can become dangerous because the leader begins believing that his position gives him permission to operate without examination. But biblical authority never removes our need for humility.

And the examination cannot stop when the conversation ends. Sometimes the clearest evidence that correction became personal is what happens afterward. Do I continue talking about their failure to other people? Do I secretly want them to suffer? Do I feel satisfaction because I finally "won"? Do I keep replaying the conversation in my mind? Have I forgiven them? Have I released the outcome to God? A servant leader must allow God to examine not only what he said but what remained in his heart after he said it.

Perhaps one of the greatest tests of servant leadership is whether we are willing to receive the same correction we are willing to give. A leader who believes he can correct everyone but cannot be corrected himself is no longer functioning as a servant. We must remain teachable. We must remain accountable. We must remain willing to say, "I was wrong." The ability to correct someone should never place us above correction; it should make us more conscious of our need for it.

Before correction, we should pray, "Lord, search me." During correction, we should pray, "Lord, guard me." After correction, we should pray, "Lord, examine me." There should be a holy fear surrounding every moment when we speak into another person's life because we understand that the same flesh we are confronting in someone else is still capable of rising up within us. The servant leader does not stand above the person he is correcting; he stands beside them beneath the grace of God.

Correction is sometimes necessary. Truth must sometimes be spoken. But we must never lose the fear of what can happen when our flesh gets involved. The goal is not to win the correction; the goal is to win the person. And when we remember that we too will one day stand before the Lord, we will approach correction with greater humility, greater compassion, and a much deeper dependence upon the One who alone knows the heart.